Pacy Down

As some of you know, we began to reduce Bailey's reliance on her pacifier shortly after Christmas time. Prior to the Holiday season she used it to chew on, hold, suck or just carry around whenever she pleased. Our goal was to rid usage before the end of January. So once life resumed to normal, we only allowed the pacifier for nap-time and bedtime. The adjustment went really well, minor if any resistance on Bailey's part. However, she was still very reliant on the pacifier during these nap/bed times. After some discussion with some friends who have gone before me, we started to debate if she was truly ready to part with it. So I teetered back and forth a bit as to whether or not the timing was best. Last week, I had decided that we could wait, and she could continue using it during her resting time.

Side track to our current toddler battle....throwing things. We have struggled with Bailey throwing toys, books, forks..... you name it. Our course of action, other than verbal instruction, has been to take the item away for 24 hours. Very effective...usually. However, I had not been doing that with her pacifier. She would throw it. I would give it back. She would throw it.I would give it back. (I Know.....it took me how long to figure this out?)

So, in the midst of Bailey's frustrated outrage (exaggerating a little), it dawned on me (as I was picking it up for the 3rd time) that she was using her pacifier to manipulate me. (Again, I.KNOW.) At that moment I decided we were done (at least for naps). So Bailey napped without her pacifier for 3 days. I mean really, if she is smart enough to pull one up on her mother, she is smart enough to find a way to get to sleep, right?! Due to my desire for sleep, I wasn't quite ready to part with it a night time, so we were still holding out.

Thursday night's Bedtime: Only one pacifier could be found. I am home alone with Bailey. Night time routine going really well. Carry Bailey in her room, reach to turn on the monitor, and it falls. The pacifier falls....and rolls....and rolls....and stops. In the midst of a pile of dust bunnies, under the crib, way in the back, behind a few things. OH. NO. Are you kidding?? Thursday night, home alone, tired. I don't want to army crawl under the crib, I don't want to get dirty, I don't want to move the crib and the rug, and the desk.....blah, blah, blah. So Bailey, who is really quite quick to process the probable outcome, "Bye Bye, Pacy." That is it, we are done. Prayers said, kisses given, light out. Pacifier is gone. Forever.

Nap and Bedtimes are still a bit rough. Crying every hour and a halfish, some calls for "Pacy." Overall, a surprisingly easy adjustment. I am excited for a normal nights rest. I am also hopeful she wants to resume cuddling soon, for some reason cuddling now begins a visit to Pout City?? But, after 18 months of using a pacifier for comfort, we are now Pacy free!! :) Yay, Bailey!

So our next "skill" to acquire is independent/alone time play. We have started with 10 minutes of play time in her room.... maybe more updates on this to come. :)

ENOUGH

Expectations. The very word can evoke a sense of failure, disappointment, and insecurity. I often set expectations, knowingly or unknowingly. Then more often than not they are unmet, unreachable, or inconceivable based on the situation. Sometimes my expectations are based on the norm, based on dreams, or on convictions. Lately I have found myself in this funk of personal disappointment. Be it my prayer life isn't "long enough," my daughter isn't physically strong enough, by marriage isn't fun enough, my friendships aren't deep enough.... but who is to measure.

I have been so focused on measuring "enough" that I haven't counted the many blessings that God has given me. I am striving to shift my focus. What has God done to bless me beyond my worth? He has given me the most wonderful man to grow old with, to challenge my faith, to complement my weaknesses, to partner in parenthood. He has blessed us with a beautiful, fun-loving daughter. I have family and friends who love me more than I deserve. Ultimately, he desires a relationship with me. The creator of the universe, the God who saved me from myself, wants me. ME. Shouldn't that be ENOUGH!

So I am challenging myself to be thankful in all I do, and put things into perspective. Everything I have, every relationship, each new day day, every material possession is an undeserved blessing. God is enough.

Books of 2012

One of my goals for 2012 is to complete a minimum of 12 books this year. An average of one a month. Doable, right!? I have struggled to find the time, energy, even desire to read the past 18 months. I have great intentions in the morning, but by the end of the day I am drained. I cannot focus, comprehend, or even stay awake.... and this is by 7:30! In all honesty, it baffles me! With that, I am hopeful that my reading list isn't to ambitious....but please, feel free to ask how or what I am reading.... I am lacking accountability, and would love some.


Almost finished with: Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman-companion to Shepherding a Child's Heart.

A Praying Life, Paul Miller (Beyond excited about this)
Radical by David Platt
Grace Based Parenting by Ted Kimmel
Parenting with Scripture by Kara Durbin
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
Knowing God by J.I. Packer
Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa Terkeurst (for a Bible Study)
So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore (currently reading for a Bible Study)
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer (devotional companion)

This is the list I have compiled, in no particular order. This brings me to 12. Some I am using as devotional companions/Bible Study/Book Study. With that being said, I am hoping to add to this list throughout the year. Recommendations anyone??

Goals of 2012

Each year, as the seemingly majority of America, I reevaluate, restart, and redo my list of goals. This year, rather than making a list of well intentioned goals, set myself up for failure, and throw in the towel January 2nd, I have committed myself to a manageable plan. A plan that allows me to make lists (something I cannot function without), and alter as necessary.

I have organized a list of things I hope to accomplish in the year 2012. The following is not inclusive, but a general overview:


Spiritual Goals:
Bible in a Year (Have been doing this in 6 months, but want to stretch it out)
Memorize 100 Verses this year (2 a week)
Find a church (have been searching for 4 months)
Complete our Personal and Family Mission Statements
Continue our prayerful search for mentors
Pray for ministry opportunities outside of home (ideally through our new church)

Relational:
Date night twice a month
Family/Friend visits once a month minimum

Motherhood/Parenting Goals:
Consistency in Discipline
Continue to add scripture to Bailey's heart training
Patience
Eliminate pacifier
Independent Play
Potty Training----maybe.

Homemaking:
Reevaluate our Menu Plan/Meal Budget
De-clutter: 30 items in 30 days at least twice this year
Evaluate and update Household and Emergency Binder
Compile a 3-5 day survival kit

Personal Growth:
Exercise 4 times a week
Read a minimum of 1 book a month



While the list is very manageable, I cannot succeed by taking it all on January 1st. So each week/month, I will be evaluating the list and chipping away bit by bit. With that said, the objective for January is the following:

8 Verses Memorized
Genesis and Job read (utilizing a chronological reading plan)
2 Date nights
1 Play date
Complete 1 Book
Exercise for 20 minutes 5x's week
Reevaluate food Budget

Decades Delayed

I yearn for simplicity. I thrive for a slow paced life. I am mentally more suited for the lifestyle lived decades before us. I love the peace it encouraged, and the connections found in the quiet reflections. These are the desires of my heart. However, I am a women designed for communication and fellowship with like minded people. I have scheduled, restricted, fasted from, and obsessed over modern communication medias. I have struggled to find the balance between the simplicity I am yearning for, and the fast paced, technologically driven society we are in.

This is the reason for my abrupt end of updates and posts. While I do not claim to have found the balance or perfected my schedule, I have a deeper insight of what my heart is yearning for. I am excited to share with you the journey of my life, and look forward to your insight and wisdom!

Full of Fun!

What an amazing and relaxing Sunday. For Michael's Father's Day celebration we ventured out to Ouabache (Wabash) State Park for an afternoon of exploring. We hiked (little difficult to do with a large stroller btw), played tennis, watched those swimming, and took the best paddle boat ride EVER!! Little Miss had the time of her life!!

Bailey - anxiously awaiting her ride 'round Kunkle Lake!


Little gal in a big coat (Sing it, Tommy Boy!)..... check out her little hand waving hello to you all!
Love You, Daddy!!!

Beautiful and Serene!


Thank you, Michael! You are such an amazing friend, husband, and father to our baby girl! Thank you for allowing us to celebrate with you!

"The Townhouse Trio"

Coming soon to a living room near you..............Presenting the "Townehouse Trio!!"

Michael and I love music, all kinds of music!! While I don't have a voice to be proud of, I still sing like there is no tomorrow! Seriously, singing in the rain, the shower, the kitchen, the bathroom, the inside, the outside.....Singing is everywhere. We make a song out of everything, and change songs that do exist. The other day, while driving in the car (and singing), Little June Bug began to "sing/babble." It was so funny....... She would hold out her "words" and just go. She would get loud, and then soft, then loud again. I was laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes. I sincerely hope she has been blessed with a passion for music. But for now, we will enjoy the "Song of Babble."

If Jesus were a house-guest??

Years ago, I remember my Mother asking me, "What if Jesus were a house-guest?" Several years later, I still find it to be a simplistically profound concept for a 9 year old. The challenge was to rid my life of things that I wouldn't include if Jesus were physically with us. (At the time, I remember it being in regard to a stack of old"Teen Beat" magazines that my friend had given me. ) This reflection has challenged me to re-evaluate my life, hobbies, entertainment, food, and daily activities. If Jesus were to walk in my front door right now, what would I feel shameful of? What would I eliminate, hide, or purge if he were to call ahead with a warning? How would my daily routine evolve?

Would Jesus and I sit down for an entertaining episode of "Grey's Anatomy?" What about the CD collection I have accumulated from College.... Britney Spears? The Dave Matthew's Band? What in there is glorifying to him? What would I feed him? Would I serve my Savior the frozen Pizza that I have in the freezer??

I have found in my own life, I have become accepting and desensitized to worldly influences. How has this happened?? By filling my life with the impure. Little by little, my mind has been tarnished. I am striving to eliminate those things that are filled with sinful values and morals. Some things will be harder than others. With few exceptions, my music collection is not secular (My Britney Spears CD was free.....and I never listen to it, so please don't poke fun). However, this does mean an end to my much loved Grey's Anatomy. :( What of the relationships, conversations, and food I have filled my life with? How are they exemplifying Christ?

This endless battle will need frequent examination. However, the exchange of a pure mind, home and heart will be well worth the sacrifices made. I am desiring to be different, to be a light for Christ. In order to do that, it must start in my home.

That's a negative, Mommy

We began implementing "Baby Sign Language" into our daily conversation with Bailey when she was around 6 months old. After doing some research, speaking with other mothers, and getting information from the library; we selected the words that we wanted to utilize. Things such as mommy, daddy, more, ball, eat, milk, yes, no, all done..... words that are used several times each day. While at times it felt funny and awkward, we decided to stick with it. What could it hurt??

Recently we have begun to see some comprehension through our "conversations" with Bailey. It is wonderful to know when she either wants more or is finished, is tired, or is just a "big girl" at the moment. However, there are days where everything is a "negative, Mommy." While we are a far cry from complete understanding, it has been rewarding to see the gradual progress. I know some of this is just common sense communication, like yes and no, but I am excited to see the progression of her communication abilities with signing.

But as of today: That's a negative, Mommy.......

Baby Babbles

Our Little Miss has been babbling for months now. All of it just noise. Sometimes loud, sometimes soft, sometimes it comes out in the form of raspberries, sometimes just yelling. Noise......but the most joyful noise to our ears. Or so we thought.

Should you walk into this house this week, you will find two joyous parents!! Two weeks ago she uttered the word "Dada" for the first time. She said it with intensity, and repeated it until she had Michael's attention. Our hearts just jumped for joy at the sound. Saturday, she added "Mama" to her vocabulary. There is nothing better than to leave her sight and hear the sound of your daughter calling your name with her little arms reaching out to you. My heart just swells with love! My how the "noise" has changed! What began as quiet whispers has now evolved into laughter, song, and two of the most precious words ever spoken!

A day in the life.....

I truly have the best job in the world. I feel I am finally able to use my God-given gifts to their true potential! While I am very excited for the next stage in Bailey's life, I am thoroughly enjoying the laughter, self discovery and responsiveness this stage has brought! This schedule is to give you an idea of just how much fun I have each day!


6:00 am - Bailey Wakes. I pump while Michael and Bailey have some bonding time.
6:20-6:40 - Feed Bailey while Michael and I do our morning Bible Study.
6:45 - I shower while Michael feeds Bailey her morning cereal.
7:15 - Bailey and Mommy time while Michael starts to get ready for work.
8:00 - Michael leaves for work, Bailey takes a short 30 minute nap, I have some quite time for my personal devotions.
8:30 - Bailey wakes up and plays until 9:00. I spend this time cleaning the living room while she plays alone.
9:00 - Second feeding of the day.
9:30 - Play time. We usually do a mix of floor time, dancing and reading.
11:30 - Second nap of the day for Bailey. I take this opportunity to start laundry, do dishes, clean the bathroom, pay bills, start getting supper ready, and other housework.
12:10 - Michael and I share lunch together while Bailey sleeps.
12:55 - Michael leaves for work and Bailey begins to stir.
1:00 - Feed Bailey Milk and some veggies!
1:45 - Reading time and more floor time.
2:30 - Bailey plays in her high chair, walker and/or choo-choo train (a laundry basket with toys in it......we often "chug" along the house at rapid speeds while Bailey laughs hysterically.) I use this time to make supper and set the table.
3:15 - Bailey takes a short 30 minute nap while I continue supper preparations or more housework.
4:00 - Feed Bailey.
4:30 - Reading time in her Bedroom.
4:50 - I begin last minute preparations for supper while Bailey plays in her "Choo-Choo train."
5:25 - Michael comes home for the day.
5:45 - Supper time for Michael and I.
7:00 - Feed Bailey for the 4th time.
7:30 - Change Bailey into her pajamas and have some quite play time (no loud toys) We dim the lights and keep the TV volume on low if it is on.
8:00 - Read with Bailey.
8:15 - 8:30 - Bed time for Bailey.
8:30 - Unwinding, reading, straitening up the house a little.
9:00 - Time in bed reading with Michael.
9:10 - Lights out for me.
10:00 - Bailey wakes, we console her, back to bed.
12:30 - Bailey wakes, let her cry and she puts herself back to sleep. It takes me about 20 minutes to fall back asleep here....very frustrating!!
2:00 - Bailey wakes up, we console her for a bit and she falls back asleep.
4:00 - Bailey wakes up. Sometimes she needs a diaper change and then will fall back asleep, other times she just lost her pacifier and goes right back to sleep.
6:00 am.....we begin again!

Of course, this fluctuates from day to day....but we try and stick to this schedule as much as possible.

Wonders of his Love

Joy to the world with truth and grace
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness
And wonders of His love
And wonders of His love
And wonders and wonders of His love

One of my fondest Christmas memories is the Christmas Eve Service at my parent's church. We have attended for as long as I can remember. We have grown from the mere five of us to a group of 12 in a few short years. Although some of us were missing this year, most were there to celebrate the coming of Christ. Our hearts were all joined together in thanksgiving and praise.

While singing the lyrics to "Joy to the World," I was overcome with tears. Amid the candles, the songs, and the families rejoicing together, there we stood; this new family of three. I glanced over in time to see my husband kissing Bailey on the head. Words cannot describe how overwhelming a feeling. We were all gathered together to celebrate the birth of this small child, born to the simplest of people, in the simplest of settings, who died a disgraceful and humiliating death...... This small child allowed my life to be filled with undeserving wonder.

Lord, how can I thank you?

Night Out

Well, I did it!! Last week Michael stayed home with Bailey while I made a solo trip to Fort Wayne. First thing, I stopped at the Christian bookstore and just browsed for a bit. I am currently searching for a new study Bible and wanted to checkout their selection. It was wonderful to look aimlessly for 20 minutes or so. I then made the trip to Barnes and Noble and just added books to my list of "wish to read." I sipped a Hot Apple Spice and just enjoyed the time alone. On the way home I turned the window down and the music up and just sang....adult songs! The following day Bailey took a 3 hour nap. :) I spent most of the time catching up on devotions and some neglected e-mail correspondence. It was amazing, I went into the afternoon feeling refreshed and relaxed. As guilty as I felt going into it all, I now know the importance of taking time for myself on a regular basis.

If you're happy and you know it......

If you're happy and you know it.....The wheels on the bus......The itsy bitsy spider.....

This morning, on my way home from spin, I caught myself singing in the car. It is not unusual for me to find myself singing the latest pop tune or country ditty aloud. However, at the present time, I don't know but one "current" pop tune or the latest "knee slapping" country number playing. My tune of choice this morning was "This is the song that doesn't end." Let me tell you, that gets old and annoying real fast!!

This has made me take my husbands persistent advice and plan a mini-getaway. I have yet to decide where I shall go, but I just need to be alone for a couple of hours. With the exception of exercising, date nights, a couple of doctor appointments in July, 3 campus life events, and church, I have yet to be without Bailey. I think the reason for my limited library of tunes very explanatory.

I am very excited to have some time to get away, this is something I know I need. The rejuvenation will only make me a more patient wife and mother. I just can't seem to shake these feelings of selfishness. I keep focusing on those mothers who aren't as blessed with a wonderful support system. Then I pile guilt onto the heap of selfishness. So, I am asking for continued accountability as I make the effort to move this need to my list of priorities.

Styx + Zumba = Loads of Laughter

I am going to begin this post by describing my Monday to you....alter the beginning and ending times, and this has been my Sunday-Tuesday.

4:20 - Wake up
5:00 - Leave for my Spinning Class
6:15 - Arrive Home and prepare for my day
7:00 - 8:45 - Feed Bailey/ listen to audio book from the library
8:45 - RR Break, Breakfast and play time with Bailey
9:00 - 10:45 - Feed Bailey/Audio Book
10:45 - RR Break and Snack
11:00 - 12:45 - Feed Bailey/PBS/Talk to Michael while home for lunch
12:45 - RR Break and Water Refill
1:00 - 2:45 - Feed Bailey/Audio Book/PBS
2:45 - RR Break and Snack/Make Supper
3:00 - 4:45 - Feed Bailey/Audio Book
4:45 - Break Time.....get supper ready to put into the oven.
5:00 - 6:00 - Feed Bailey
6:00 - Eat Supper
6:30 - 7:45 - Feed Bailey
7:45 - Break Time
8:30-9:45 - Feed Bailey
9:45 - Bailey in BED for the night!

After doing this for 3 strait days, I am exhausted!! I know....I am sitting down all day, why should I be tired? It is crazy, If I am not feeding her, she is screaming....and acts like she hasn't eaten all day. I am assured by my lactation consultant this is totally normal, and I should keep at this schedule. Bailey is simply going through a growth spurt. However.....where on earth is she putting all this food?

The past two days I have tried various methods of entertaining her while we take a break from eating. Yesterday was horrible, lots of crying from her and even more crying from me!! But today.......while getting ready for my date (which was done in 15 minute intervals beginning at 10 am this morning), I found the winning combination. Styx + Zumba = Loads of Laughter!!

My daughter has a strange fondness for Styx's "Come Sail Away," Zumba, and the craziness the combination creates!! This has allowed for happy baby, mommy and home!!! :) I encourage you to try it....and try not to laugh!!!
Styx...