Pacy Down

As some of you know, we began to reduce Bailey's reliance on her pacifier shortly after Christmas time. Prior to the Holiday season she used it to chew on, hold, suck or just carry around whenever she pleased. Our goal was to rid usage before the end of January. So once life resumed to normal, we only allowed the pacifier for nap-time and bedtime. The adjustment went really well, minor if any resistance on Bailey's part. However, she was still very reliant on the pacifier during these nap/bed times. After some discussion with some friends who have gone before me, we started to debate if she was truly ready to part with it. So I teetered back and forth a bit as to whether or not the timing was best. Last week, I had decided that we could wait, and she could continue using it during her resting time.

Side track to our current toddler battle....throwing things. We have struggled with Bailey throwing toys, books, forks..... you name it. Our course of action, other than verbal instruction, has been to take the item away for 24 hours. Very effective...usually. However, I had not been doing that with her pacifier. She would throw it. I would give it back. She would throw it.I would give it back. (I Know.....it took me how long to figure this out?)

So, in the midst of Bailey's frustrated outrage (exaggerating a little), it dawned on me (as I was picking it up for the 3rd time) that she was using her pacifier to manipulate me. (Again, I.KNOW.) At that moment I decided we were done (at least for naps). So Bailey napped without her pacifier for 3 days. I mean really, if she is smart enough to pull one up on her mother, she is smart enough to find a way to get to sleep, right?! Due to my desire for sleep, I wasn't quite ready to part with it a night time, so we were still holding out.

Thursday night's Bedtime: Only one pacifier could be found. I am home alone with Bailey. Night time routine going really well. Carry Bailey in her room, reach to turn on the monitor, and it falls. The pacifier falls....and rolls....and rolls....and stops. In the midst of a pile of dust bunnies, under the crib, way in the back, behind a few things. OH. NO. Are you kidding?? Thursday night, home alone, tired. I don't want to army crawl under the crib, I don't want to get dirty, I don't want to move the crib and the rug, and the desk.....blah, blah, blah. So Bailey, who is really quite quick to process the probable outcome, "Bye Bye, Pacy." That is it, we are done. Prayers said, kisses given, light out. Pacifier is gone. Forever.

Nap and Bedtimes are still a bit rough. Crying every hour and a halfish, some calls for "Pacy." Overall, a surprisingly easy adjustment. I am excited for a normal nights rest. I am also hopeful she wants to resume cuddling soon, for some reason cuddling now begins a visit to Pout City?? But, after 18 months of using a pacifier for comfort, we are now Pacy free!! :) Yay, Bailey!

So our next "skill" to acquire is independent/alone time play. We have started with 10 minutes of play time in her room.... maybe more updates on this to come. :)

Snow Day!!

Our very first SNOW DAY!!!




Due to my lack of preparation, she has on 7 different articles of mismatched clothing, a size 7 boot (3 sizes too big), and can barely walk.....but boy was it fun!!

ENOUGH

Expectations. The very word can evoke a sense of failure, disappointment, and insecurity. I often set expectations, knowingly or unknowingly. Then more often than not they are unmet, unreachable, or inconceivable based on the situation. Sometimes my expectations are based on the norm, based on dreams, or on convictions. Lately I have found myself in this funk of personal disappointment. Be it my prayer life isn't "long enough," my daughter isn't physically strong enough, by marriage isn't fun enough, my friendships aren't deep enough.... but who is to measure.

I have been so focused on measuring "enough" that I haven't counted the many blessings that God has given me. I am striving to shift my focus. What has God done to bless me beyond my worth? He has given me the most wonderful man to grow old with, to challenge my faith, to complement my weaknesses, to partner in parenthood. He has blessed us with a beautiful, fun-loving daughter. I have family and friends who love me more than I deserve. Ultimately, he desires a relationship with me. The creator of the universe, the God who saved me from myself, wants me. ME. Shouldn't that be ENOUGH!

So I am challenging myself to be thankful in all I do, and put things into perspective. Everything I have, every relationship, each new day day, every material possession is an undeserved blessing. God is enough.

Books of 2012

One of my goals for 2012 is to complete a minimum of 12 books this year. An average of one a month. Doable, right!? I have struggled to find the time, energy, even desire to read the past 18 months. I have great intentions in the morning, but by the end of the day I am drained. I cannot focus, comprehend, or even stay awake.... and this is by 7:30! In all honesty, it baffles me! With that, I am hopeful that my reading list isn't to ambitious....but please, feel free to ask how or what I am reading.... I am lacking accountability, and would love some.


Almost finished with: Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman-companion to Shepherding a Child's Heart.

A Praying Life, Paul Miller (Beyond excited about this)
Radical by David Platt
Grace Based Parenting by Ted Kimmel
Parenting with Scripture by Kara Durbin
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
Knowing God by J.I. Packer
Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa Terkeurst (for a Bible Study)
So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore (currently reading for a Bible Study)
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer (devotional companion)

This is the list I have compiled, in no particular order. This brings me to 12. Some I am using as devotional companions/Bible Study/Book Study. With that being said, I am hoping to add to this list throughout the year. Recommendations anyone??

Goals of 2012

Each year, as the seemingly majority of America, I reevaluate, restart, and redo my list of goals. This year, rather than making a list of well intentioned goals, set myself up for failure, and throw in the towel January 2nd, I have committed myself to a manageable plan. A plan that allows me to make lists (something I cannot function without), and alter as necessary.

I have organized a list of things I hope to accomplish in the year 2012. The following is not inclusive, but a general overview:


Spiritual Goals:
Bible in a Year (Have been doing this in 6 months, but want to stretch it out)
Memorize 100 Verses this year (2 a week)
Find a church (have been searching for 4 months)
Complete our Personal and Family Mission Statements
Continue our prayerful search for mentors
Pray for ministry opportunities outside of home (ideally through our new church)

Relational:
Date night twice a month
Family/Friend visits once a month minimum

Motherhood/Parenting Goals:
Consistency in Discipline
Continue to add scripture to Bailey's heart training
Patience
Eliminate pacifier
Independent Play
Potty Training----maybe.

Homemaking:
Reevaluate our Menu Plan/Meal Budget
De-clutter: 30 items in 30 days at least twice this year
Evaluate and update Household and Emergency Binder
Compile a 3-5 day survival kit

Personal Growth:
Exercise 4 times a week
Read a minimum of 1 book a month



While the list is very manageable, I cannot succeed by taking it all on January 1st. So each week/month, I will be evaluating the list and chipping away bit by bit. With that said, the objective for January is the following:

8 Verses Memorized
Genesis and Job read (utilizing a chronological reading plan)
2 Date nights
1 Play date
Complete 1 Book
Exercise for 20 minutes 5x's week
Reevaluate food Budget

Decades Delayed

I yearn for simplicity. I thrive for a slow paced life. I am mentally more suited for the lifestyle lived decades before us. I love the peace it encouraged, and the connections found in the quiet reflections. These are the desires of my heart. However, I am a women designed for communication and fellowship with like minded people. I have scheduled, restricted, fasted from, and obsessed over modern communication medias. I have struggled to find the balance between the simplicity I am yearning for, and the fast paced, technologically driven society we are in.

This is the reason for my abrupt end of updates and posts. While I do not claim to have found the balance or perfected my schedule, I have a deeper insight of what my heart is yearning for. I am excited to share with you the journey of my life, and look forward to your insight and wisdom!

I'm Back......

Hello??? Anybody there?? It is my guess I am writing to my husband, and maybe 2 other people who haven't given up on me..... Thanks Mom and Rachel!

Given that my last post before my abrupt absence was a picture update, I thought a picture greeting would be an appropriate reopening post. Admittedly, she is growing more adorable each day!








These are just a few snapshots that reflect the joy, fun and adventure that Bailey has brought to our lives!

Our Darling

I am still amazed at the blessing God entrusted us with just over a year ago. We have seen his grace and mercy through the eyes of our beautiful daughter. With her laughter and joy, God's love has been so evident! We are so grateful for the joy parenthood has brought into our lives.


**Many thanks to Adam for capturing in photos the love and joy of our daughter!

Father's Day

To my dear Husband,

• 11 years ago: Our introduction was made, a friendship ensued, and your girlfriend I became.

• 8 years ago: You graduated from a boy into a young man; To college you went.

• 6 years ago: A bridge we crossed, a ring on my finger.

• 4 years ago: Two united as one.

• 2 years ago: Through loss we cried, we mourned, we questioned and together we grew.

• 22 months ago: New life was preparing to enter the world.

• 1 year ago: I watched as you were vulnerable and full of love, adoration, and wonderment. A FATHER you became.

I love that I have spent these last 11 years watching your transformation. I love the way I can hear you smooch our daughter 3 rooms away. I love the way you play peek-a-boo. I love your "Daddy-Daughter" time. I love the way you read aloud. I love the annoying wind chimes. I love being the mother of your child. I love your passion to grow. I love that you are striving to become a Godly Father to our daughter. Never have I loved you more. Thank you!

Happy 1st Father's Day!!

If Jesus were a house-guest??

Years ago, I remember my Mother asking me, "What if Jesus were a house-guest?" Several years later, I still find it to be a simplistically profound concept for a 9 year old. The challenge was to rid my life of things that I wouldn't include if Jesus were physically with us. (At the time, I remember it being in regard to a stack of old"Teen Beat" magazines that my friend had given me. ) This reflection has challenged me to re-evaluate my life, hobbies, entertainment, food, and daily activities. If Jesus were to walk in my front door right now, what would I feel shameful of? What would I eliminate, hide, or purge if he were to call ahead with a warning? How would my daily routine evolve?

Would Jesus and I sit down for an entertaining episode of "Grey's Anatomy?" What about the CD collection I have accumulated from College.... Britney Spears? The Dave Matthew's Band? What in there is glorifying to him? What would I feed him? Would I serve my Savior the frozen Pizza that I have in the freezer??

I have found in my own life, I have become accepting and desensitized to worldly influences. How has this happened?? By filling my life with the impure. Little by little, my mind has been tarnished. I am striving to eliminate those things that are filled with sinful values and morals. Some things will be harder than others. With few exceptions, my music collection is not secular (My Britney Spears CD was free.....and I never listen to it, so please don't poke fun). However, this does mean an end to my much loved Grey's Anatomy. :( What of the relationships, conversations, and food I have filled my life with? How are they exemplifying Christ?

This endless battle will need frequent examination. However, the exchange of a pure mind, home and heart will be well worth the sacrifices made. I am desiring to be different, to be a light for Christ. In order to do that, it must start in my home.